How To Negotiate Your Pay and Benefits

When considering any household position, what you will be paid is an essential factor to consider. However, how and when to negotiate your pay and benefits can be a tricky situation to navigate, particularly if you are new to the household employment industry. At My Household Managed, we want to dispel the myths and help you be as informed as possible when it comes to negotiating pay and benefits as a household employee. Equally, if you are looking to hire household staff, find out exactly what is expected from you in terms of pay and benefits by reading through our top tips on how to negotiate your pay and benefits.

two hands shaking on a negotiation.

Who Negotiates Pay and Benefits?

First things first, if you are utilizing an agency, ask them how they typically handle pay negotiations.

Agencies like MHM will negotiate pay for you, while other agencies prefer you to negotiate your own pay. Benefits of letting the agency negotiate your pay include an understanding of the overall market in your particular city, confidential information on what other candidates applying for the same role are seeking in terms of pay and what experience they bring, and the understanding of what is most important to the family at the end of the day. 

Keep in mind that the agency wants you to secure this position just as much as you do and they are hoping that you receive an offer that makes you want to stay in the role for the long term, instead of having to search for your replacement in a few months. Being honest with the agency about pay expectations allows them to do their jobs efficiently and saves you time.

How Do I Know If I Am Able to Negotiate My Pay??

Whether you are negotiating for yourself or utilizing an agency, not all positions will be open for salary negotiation. However there are a few telltale signs of when you may be able to ask for more.

Pay attention to the way pay is advertised in the job description as this will be the clearest indicator of whether you can negotiate your pay and benefits as a household employee.

Types of jobs that allow you to negotiate pay are those that: 

  1. Are advertised as a specific $ amount “+” (Ex: $25+)

  2. Include the phrase “depending on experience

  3. Are advertised as a range (Ex: $25-$27)

Can I Negotiate Benefits and PTO? 

For the most part, any benefits or paid-time off (PTO) will be clearly listed in the advertisement. However, if there is a particular benefit that you know you will need (ex: health insurance stipend), first ask the agency if the family might be willing to offer that for their perfect fit. When considering whether you should negotiate your pay for your dream household career, we always advise to take the following three things into consideration:

  1. Some positions are incredibly competitive and the agency may already have a few people in mind that will accept the offer as-is without negotiations. In that case, it would be a waste of your own time to apply for a job like this. 

  2. Other positions are harder to recruit for, and the family may be looking for something especially unique. In this case, if you find your dream job, but the only thing it’s missing is a health insurance stipend, or an extra week of vacation time, and it would make or break your decision to accept an offer,  it might be possible that the family could make this work. 

  3. Either way, be sure to be clear with the agency about what you are realistically looking for in terms of pay and benefits for the best chance of success.  Applying for a role and withholding information regarding must-haves until the very end can be a waste of your own time and put you and the agency in an uncomfortable situation. Communication is key to success in most household employee roles so why not show that you are a great communicator right from the start?

How To Negotiate Pay

Once you have established that pay negotiation is a possible option for you, make sure you are clear on what your expectations are. The best way to do this is by ensuring the following:

  • Always speak in terms of gross hourly pay. If you need help working this out, we recommend using this calculator.

  • If a yearly salary or weekly pay is advertised, it might just be another way of advertising the role to attract an interested candidate. Be sure to confirm with the agency or family that guaranteed hours are being offered. Household employees should never be offered a true "salary". Instead, they should be offered guaranteed hours at a gross hourly rate and then compensated in overtime for hours worked above 40 in any given week.  

  • If the family puts you in the spot during your interview and asks how much you would like to get paid, you could say:

“I am comfortable with the pay advertised in the job description” or

“I prefer to let the agency handle the negotiation.”

  • If it is a job you have found on your own, you can say:

    “I am comfortable with the pay advertised in the job description” or

    “I prefer to let families make the initial offer and I can think it over from there”

For more tips on how to negotiate a salary both you and your employer are happy with, read this article on Entrepreneur.com.

Discussing Your Pay with an Agency

If you’re using an agency like My Household Managed to find your perfect household position, there are steps you should take to ensure that you will be happy with the salary of roles that they may find for you. It is always best practice to be upfront and realistic from the start of the process. In fact, here are our top tips for how to conduct pay discussions with an agency:

  • Be sure that when you apply, you tell the agency your realistic minimum salary. Feel free to suggest your “target” pay range as well to give them an idea of that type of job would attract you while you are passively searching. 

  • Don’t over-inflate your minimum in an attempt to get a higher salary. It could mean that you will be the least qualified candidate in your pay range expectation causing you to miss out on opportunities. It could create a disparate gap between the jobs you have the experience for, and the jobs suited to the high pay expectations you have.

  • Agencies like MHM want to help you and providing them accurate information is the best way to allow them to do their jobs properly. 

  • Recruiters often have years of experience and can tell when someone is lying about their pay expectations based upon their resume alone. Being thought of as dishonest or deceptive will not leave a positive impression and may mean agencies do not want to work with you. 

Whichever role you’re applying for, the salary is an important factor. Even if it is your dream job, you need to make sure that you are comfortable with the salary. After all if you apply for a job that is too far below your pay expectations, with the hopes that a meeting with the family will “convince” them why you are worth the extra money, it can put you in a bad situation. We never advise this because not only might you be overqualified for the job and therefore not be satisfied in the role longer-term, you are likely to competing with people that are willing to accept an offer as-is and therefore not be successful in landing the role. 

Equally, there are risks when applying for a job that is offering pay above your pay expectations. While it may be temping to ask for the highest salary range possible, understand that you must leave room for growth, promotions, raises, and bonuses. Coming in at the highest end of an employer’s offer means that you could be one of the first employees on staff to go if the family ever needs to downsize.

Ultimately, whilst salary and benefits are key components of considering a job offer, keep in mind that job satisfaction is not always about pay. Rest assured that experienced household employees consistently state that they would rather find a job that they can see themselves in long-term, than an extremely high paying job that is stressful and has high employee turnover. Be sure to consider what is most important for you when considering accepting any household position.

If you need help looking for your perfect household job whether you’re a nanny, house manager or private chef, take a look at our jobs board or look at our candidates page for more information about the process


You’ve got enough on your plate in your day-to-day life — let us make your life easier by handling your unique household staffing needs.

If you are a family looking for staff for your family office or for any other home service, submit an application with My Household Managed.

If you are looking to work within a family office, apply at My Household Managed.



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