A unique aspect of working as a nanny is the intimate setting of your work (in someone’s home) and the essential nature of your role. Because of the significance of your support, you must maintain a high level of professionalism and steer clear of behavior that could jeopardize your job or, even worse, ruin your reputation for good. Your unprofessional behavior can send a family’s day or week into a spin!

At My Household Managed, we have the opportunity to speak to families about their prior experiences hiring nannies themselves. Our families give us a behind-the-scenes look into what families have loved and loathed about their household employees. Today, we’re sharing the worst of the worst directly from our experience with clients and what you can do instead to become the best of the best.

❌ Disrespect your employer’s time

Nannies are responsible for maintaining a professional schedule, so leaving work early without permission from your boss or calling in sick five minutes before your employer expects you to start work can create huge issues for the family you’re working for.

✅ Communicate proactively

Give your employer as much notice as possible if you feel ill and need to alter your schedule or if a true personal emergency arises. Remember that your employer’s work and life plans often revolve around or depend on you being there to care for their kids. Keep communication direct, brief, and compassionate yet firm about your personal needs and boundaries.

❌ Blur work-life boundaries

Remember that the people you provide care for have no obligation to be involved in your personal life. Resist the urge to overshare about your struggles with your nanny family, and never share your nanny kids on social media without explicit permission. Additionally, whatever job perks you have should be respected as professional privileges, not personal ones. Don’t use the family vehicle to run personal errands or pay for unapproved expenses on the family credit card.

✅ Show your personality in a playful and professional manner

Your nanny family likely hired you because they enjoy your presence in addition to your professional qualifications. It’s important to show who you are and bring your authentic self to work respectfully, thoughtfully, and light-heartedly. Connecting with your family, caring for them, and building solid relationships without overstepping boundaries are possible.

❌ Lie to cover up a mistake

If you accidentally break glassware, shrink your boss’s shirt, or scratch the family vehicle, it is better to own up to the mistake, even if it is uncomfortable. Hiding things from your employer is a sure way to create conflict and tension in your relationship, can easily lead to your employer doubting your trustworthiness, and may even be reason enough for them to terminate your employment.

✅ Establish a professional way to check in with your employer regularly

The best way to deal with mistakes and accidents is to have a way to check in with your employer that feels good for both of you. Something like a broken dish or shrunken shirt may not warrant a text message interrupting your employer’s day at work but could be jotted down and discussed when they arrive home. Talking with your employer ahead of time about how to handle these moments will relieve stress for everyone and build trust in the process.

❌ Make assumptions about your responsibilities and role

If you aren’t sure of your employer’s expectations of you in a specific situation where relatives are staying with the family or an event or party is hosted in the home, never assume that you’ve got a free pass to take a break.

On a broader scale, it’s crucial to establish how your employer will conduct regular performance reviews to keep communication open both ways about expectations and responsibilities.

✅ When in doubt, always ask

Some employers prefer to maintain a professional relationship with their nanny, and others want them to feel like part of the family. Every situation is unique. Often, you can pay attention to cues from the family to determine how your relationship stands and how it is evolving. Use discretion, err on the side of professionalism, and if something feels ‘off’ or uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to ask.

When you first begin your job, you should establish how you will handle some of the gray areas of your work, like meals on the job. In an industry without a typical schedule or lunch break, you’ll need to know if your employer expects you to bring your lunch, are welcome to whatever is in the fridge, or if the family will purchase food just for you. Imagine the embarrassment of innocently eating a container of Whole Foods sushi in the fridge only to discover that it was meant for your boss’s dinner that evening.

❌ Bring up your ‘beef’ with past employers

Complaining about previous employers to your new employer in passive or overt ways is simply unnecessary and unprofessional. Please don’t do it.

✅ Create a clear contract that covers common problem areas

How can you productively use what you’ve experienced and learned? If you had an incredibly challenging issue with a past employer, use it as an opportunity to gain wisdom. One way to apply the wisdom of bad experiences to your new nanny job is by incorporating clear boundaries, expectations, and house rules into your nanny contract. You can expect your family to include things in your contract like family confidentiality, personal calls at work, taking the kids out of the home without permission, and inviting in unapproved guests. What do you need as their nanny to feel secure and professionally valued in your role?

❌ Take work personally

Taking your employer’s feedback or criticism personally is easy, but this will not serve you as a professional. Professionals can have conversations about their pay, issues on the job, and workplace changes calmly and diplomatically.

✅ Speak up with maturity and healthy boundaries in place

Your input is valuable to your employer, too. Still, they will only fully hear and respect you as a professional if you can share it rationally and respectfully. Be open and honest, and don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself.

You’ve got enough on your plate in your day-to-day life — let us make your life easier by handling your unique household staffing needs.

If you are a family looking for a nanny, house manager or other home service, submit an application with My Household Managed.

If you are a professional nanny or house manager looking for a job, apply at My Household Managed.