How To Handle Difficult Employer/Employee Discussions

Ah, the dreaded “please see me when you have a minute”. It’s basically the “we need to talk” of the employer/employee relationship. If you plan the meeting too far in advance you overthink about how the conversation is going to go, but if you don’t plan it at all you’re not prepared. There’s just no way around it…right? Of course not!

Having hard conversations about things like work performance, vacation time, salary/benefits, and schedule changes isn’t always fun, but it doesn’t have to be so difficult.

Here are a few tips to help:

  • Set time aside in advance. When it comes to these things time and place are key. Put some time on the other person’s calendar when you know that they have the physical and emotional capacity to sit down in-person and give you their full attention. It can be as simple as: “Hey ____, whenever you get a chance I wanted to have a quick chat with you. Do you have some time today? If not, let me a know a time that works best for you.” When you do speak, choose an area with minimal distractions or noise where you are able to speak in private.

  • If it’s a performance review or some sort of critique it helps to lead first with what they are doing well. Everyone appreciates a little flattery (as long as it is genuine). This sets the tone of the conversation with a foundation of mutual respect and makes your listener a little more open to hearing what you are about to say next.

    • Employers: Reassure the individual that they are appreciated and that their hard work is not going unnoticed.

    • Employees: Express your satisfaction with your role. We often assume that our bosses have everything figured out since they are the ones calling the shots, but in some cases, especially when it comes to household staffing, this may be their first time in an official management position. Maybe your boss is doing a great job communicating with you or they’re really on board with handling a difficult situation that arose recently. I’m sure it would mean a lot to them to hear your appreciation.

Overall, it’s important to remember that good communication is key to any team. If a problem arises it’s better to address it sooner, rather than later, to avoid buildup of any resentment or bad feelings. Often times, your listener may be more willing to accept what you have to say than you might imagine, and it strengthens your working relationship now that you are both on the same page.


You’ve got enough on your plate in your day-to-day life — let us make your life easier by handling your unique household staffing needs.

If you are a family looking to hire a nanny, household employee or other home service, submit an application with My Household Managed.

If you are a professional nanny, house manager, or other household employee looking for a job, apply at My Household Managed.


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